I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
