just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
