Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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