It's just like the Real World with babies
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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