dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
