do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
