So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
