So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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