the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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