Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
