K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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