the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
