So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
