i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
