I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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