Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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