im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
