this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
