DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
BRING THE BAGELS
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
