I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
