some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
