you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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