Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Are we still banned from the library?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Everclear isn't food dammit
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
