We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
