Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
