It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Please don't give away my fajitas
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
