Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
