What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
