why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Ketchup is God's man juice
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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