How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
