MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
