i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
