And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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