Plan B is the new Plan A
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize