everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize