I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
