I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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