I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm just crazy horny about you
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
