Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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