are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
