I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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