I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
