Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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