Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
