my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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