Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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