at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
