I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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