This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
