Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
