who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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