he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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