After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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