Slut skills are useful in every country.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
