One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
