I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
