She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
