Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
