Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
