It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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