Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
