i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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